Heartbreak

Why does heartbreak last so long?

It’s been months since it happened but she still has moments where her mind wanders. Times she thinks about him again. Times she breaks down. Times she cries. She doesn’t give a damn about him anymore but he’s still there, at the back of her mind, nagging at her. He’s there when she meets someone new. When she wears the shirt that was his favorite. When she writes. He’s even there in her dreams. She’s moved on, but the thousand tiny fissures in her heart ache every time she does something that reminds her of him. She doesn’t know why and she doesn’t know how to make it stop.

This is what she does know: she knows she loves the smell of coffee in the morning, and the way the sun comes in through her window. She loves the moon and the stars and how quickly a bad night can turn to a good one with the right people. She loves how, for the few moments after she wakes up, she can think about absolutely nothing. She knows that the injustice in the world makes her heart ache more than the cracks he put in her heart. She knows she would do anything to save someone from themselves or the world or even all of humanity if she had to. She knows that the world is the hardest place to live, and if she can just make it out alive, she did alright. She knows that even though the chasms in her heart twinge with pain, cuts and bruises and scars only go to show that she has lived and she is alive.

Why does heartbreak last so long? Because once it doesn’t, you are free. From everything.

  • e.o.
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