there’s a sea of people

larger than the Pacific

and i’m stuck

right in the middle

of all this chaos.

i’m overwhelmed

by the sound of angry waves

and the sound of angry voices.

i’m being pushed around

by troubled waters

and troubled people.

i’m getting lost

in the vastness of this ocean

and the vastness of these halls.

i’m treading water

in the middle of the sea

and my lungs are giving out

and my mind is giving out

and my limbs are giving out

and is this what drowning is?

with the little strength that’s left in me,

i scream out to someone,

to anyone,

to save me from this isolation.

i cry out to the same boat

that i was pushed off of,

the same school

that i was pushed out of,

but they’re all long gone,

continuing their lives without me.

i cry out to this new ship

where no one knows who i am,

this new school

where no one knows my name,

but they don’t seem to notice,

too caught up with their own lives

to acknowledge me.

with my last breath

with my last kick

with my last thought,

i cry out to God,

asking him why He did this to me.

i didn’t get to listen for an answer

because my body went under

and i couldn’t breathe

and i couldn’t think

and i couldn’t move,

this is what drowning is.

  • m.f.

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