To All the Boys I’ve Loved…

Dear the First,

I guess in truth, you don’t really need this letter. You already know that you are the greatest human being I’ve ever met. I got lucky I guess. Some people have crappy and absent first boys. But you never were. You were there for every gymnastics competition, every swim meet, every basketball game, every volleyball game, every track meet. You always pushed me to try new things, to meet new people, to be better, to do better. You never asked me to be a princess when I wanted to play basketball. You never asked me to help my mom in the kitchen when all I wanted to do was play in the mud. You never told me to back down, even when I was wrong. You never asked me to be anybody but who I was. So thank you, for teaching me that being myself is okay, even if everyone else thinks you’re crazy for doing it. 

Love, Erin

______________________________

Dear the Second,

You screwed me up a little bit. You made me blame myself for something I had no control over. And you walked away from me like I meant nothing like I was nothing. And I’m not. You were incredible for a while. You took care of me and watched over me. You made sure that I was always happy, or at the very least, that I was content. Then you met some people that you shouldn’t have and you dropped me. You were never around, didn’t come to any of my meets or games or banquets or award nights. Most of my friends didn’t know you other than the vague mentions I occasionally offered them. It hurt me and so I hurt myself. I did things I shouldn’t have because ANYTHING felt better than feeling like I wasn’t good enough for you. But I’m better now. And you are too I think, at least, you are a little bit. You still tend to shut me out more than you let me in. Nonetheless, thank you. Thank you for making me feel like I was nothing, because now I know, I am everything.

Love, Erin

______________________________

Dear the Third,

You are so completely yourself all the time which is insane because most adults can’t even say that. You were always there for me even if we wanted to rip each other’s throats out. Maybe you never knew what was going on inside my head but that didn’t stop you from pulling me in to do crazy, insane things. You could do everything the world has to offer and it still wouldn’t be enough for you. You went away for a while and you came back better and happier than ever. You are a miracle and I am gifted to have known you. A lot of people go through their entire lives looking for something amazing to happen and it never does. Because of you I have something amazing and incredible happen everyday. Thank you for showing me how to be fearless. 

Love, Erin.

  • e.o.
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